Identify Your Parenting Style

“What kind of a parent am I?” If you have ever stopped to ask yourself this question, you are not alone. Like many other things we do in life, parenting styles can divided into broad categories and while this is not an exhaustive list, it works well as a general guideline. It is important to remember that just because you identify as following one parenting style that doesn’t mean you cannot change your approach.

It is always possible to learn new things and do things different. They say a newborn baby gives birth to new parents, so take the opportunity to learn more about parenting from another point of view. Here are the broad parenting styles for you to keep in mind.


It is often as bad as it sounds. Neglectful parenting tales place when a parent neglects a child’s needs often. This means that the parent is not fully aware of a child’s needs, has an understanding of the child’s life, is not aware of the child’s friends or teachers and spends long periods away from the child.

It is very important to note that neglectful parenting need not mean the parent is morally failing in his/her duties. Some parents have to work very hard to ensure that their children are provided for and in doing so; they spend time away from them. Parents with jobs that involve heavy travel also have the same issues.

While not all the factors are within control, it is important that neglectful parents realize that they are neglecting key aspects of their child’s life. Once this realization is reached, parents can try to make an effort to learn more about their children or find ways to be more involved. Neglectful parenting needs to be addressed at the earliest possible stage otherwise; children will have a hard time trusting people or developing relationships.


Parents that merely issue commands to their children are considered authoritarian, in nature. It is very important that parents create rules and boundaries for their children and it is up to parents to ensure that these rules are enforced.

Children must respect rules and their parents but there are limits to this thinking as well. If you finding yourself merely issuing commands, not allowing your child to have a dialogue with you on some decisions or punishing your child often, you could be an authoritarian.

Children whose parents are too authoritarian tend to be very reserved and unable to cope without instructions from other people. It is good to enforce rules with your child but try to leave room for more dialogue and give your child the ability to choose more often. They need to see you nurturing them as well so don’t be afraid to be warm and try not to always dictate things from afar.


Indulging your child at every term is not healthy for development. Permissive parents are in tune with what their children want but give it to them too readily. Sometimes what a child wants is not what a child needs.

Too often, we have heard tales of spoiled brats and selfish children but constant indulgence can turn any child into such a person. Children need a sense of structure and they need to be guided and moulded into becoming better people.

You need to set some rules and enforce them and for this you need to confront your child. It is necessary to be “the bad guy” sometimes and play spoilsport but do this only when your child needs to learn the consequences.


For many, the authoritative parent is the most effective one. To become an authoritative parent, it is necessary to learn from the deficiencies of the other archetypes we have mentioned. Spend time with your child and learn everything you can them.

Set rules and boundaries and enforce them but don’t do it from afar, because you need to make your child understand why these rules matter. Indulging your child at every turn is not the answer because they need to learn why they must follow certain rules.

You have expectations and demands of your child and you are willing to support them in any way to reach these goals. While this authoritative style is important, take things into context and make decisions based on the situation. Nothing is set in stone and your child will need you to adjust to anything that happens in life.

If your child is enrolled in The Apple Tree Kindergarten, we’d be happy to advise you on any situation that you need some help with.