Patience is the Key to Great Parenting
The change from being an adult to becoming a parent is something that nobody can accurately document. Each person makes the metamorphosis on their own but ultimately, the responsibility of parenting is the same for everyone.
Children have a way of bringing out a new side to their parents, but that is not always a positive emotion. Since children have their own curious nature, they are bound to do things that are inappropriate, reckless, difficult or damaging without thinking about it.
How must you react as a parent? There is no right answer to this question as every situation is contextual but if you are coming from a calm and patient perspective, you increase the likelihood of a better outcome.
So how does patience affect parenting and how can parents become more patient?
What Bothers You?
To become more patient, we need to identify what makes us lose our patience in the first place. Do a real self-audit of all the situations where you have lost your patience with your child and identify what triggered you.
Don’t neglect any scenarios that would contribute to your mood changing as children are extremely sensitive to the moods and emotions of their parents. They might not be able to tell you when or how but your child will know when you are no longer calm, you just need to identify it and be honest with yourself.
This is where the “Stop, Look, Listen” thought process comes into play. We are constantly multi-tasking through the day so we don’t always pay full attention to our children, this is completely normal but there are times we must acknowledge them.
Did you scream an instruction at your child while you were sorting the laundry? Did he/she stop doing something because of this? To find out how this worked out, stop what you are doing, look at your child and pay attention to what is happening and listen to what he/she has to say.
By doing this, you can see what kind of an impact your actions had on your child. You need to know how they perceive your behaviour because you are always being imitated by them.
The Role Model
Children learn to read tense situations, develop empathy and communicate in the same vein as their parents. You are always your child’s first role model, whether they admit it or not. If you remain patient in difficult situations, it gives your child the impression that he/she must remain patient when things are tough.
Committing to this even-keeled approach has many benefits. Knowing that you aren’t liable to get angered easily, your child is more likely to tell share things with you. They are constantly scanning body language cues and emotional tones in your voice to see if you are ok. Show them that you are by staying calm.
Listen Well to Nurture Well
Once you know what triggers your emotions, you can prepare for them better by reminding yourself to not react too negatively in front of your child. Planning routines and contingencies for most daily chores is also a great way to save any kind of frustration.
If you are in control of most situations, you are able to do more for your child. Stop, look and listen to understand your child more. Active listening is encouraging for children, it gives them the impression that you aren’t just giving them orders or teaching them things but you are listening as well.
Children want to feel like they are understood by their parents. By building on a patient approach to parenting and showing a level of listening and understanding that your children can appreciate, you have provided them with a role model that they should follow.